The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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