Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
