bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
This baby is an asshole
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
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there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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