Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize