I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
