i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
