i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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