my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
