just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
