i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
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Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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