I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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