Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
