Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
