coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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