i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
