Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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