Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
