I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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