The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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