She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
