Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
