My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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