My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
