he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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