We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
