oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
