I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
