I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You took a bar mat shot.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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