do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
