Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
