On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
