i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
