it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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