Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
