we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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