I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When did angry sex become our thing?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize