I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize