i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
