if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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