My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
