remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
