i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
