I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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