Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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