Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
