He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
