I think i peed on brittanys purse
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The power of my boobs compel you
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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