Buhtt sex?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
