i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
