first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
