I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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