So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
