ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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