my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize