So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
