She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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