thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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