Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
