I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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