but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
