season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
