Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
