Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Operation Purity has been aborted
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
