you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
