Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
