Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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